Be Who You were Made to Be

     My dear princesses, 

     Good morning! :) How are you this morning? feeling like yourselves? Last night and this morning God put it on my heart to talk to you girls about something I've needed to learn (and am currently working on) for a while now. About being yourselves. About being the beautiful creation He made you to be!

We are not Comparable

     

     A very special teacher in my life just reminded me of this fact. That God doesn't compare us to anybody. To quote her words:

"You will stand before God someday and He won't say "why weren't you more like so-and-so" He will just be looking at you, and all the gifts, talents, and calls He gave you. He will judge us by what we did with what He gave us." 

     That meant so much to me, and I needed to share it with all my dear sisters! So often I find myself comparing myself to people. See, I'll be honest with you, I feel like I have a very awkward body type. I'm about 5' 7" - 5' 8", which is pretty tall when all of my best friends are only 5' 3" ish. Not only that but I have smaller... other things that I'm always a little insecure about. The other day I was writing in my notebook of letters to God and as I look back at it I realize that it is RIDICULOUS. I was thanking the Lord for making me the way He did, and I started to list all the things I loved about how he made me. I talked about how I can love people without even knowing them very well, I talked about how I like adventure, and how I like dressing nicely and I appreciated that He put that in me. But then I made a list of things that I didn't understand about why He decided it was a good idea... This list includes mostly physical features that I'm insecure about, like that I have two teeth in the front that point a little more than most people's canines. Or that I have big feet, that I'm tall, that I have a pretty big toe nail. (yes girls, that's really on there...) that I can only wink with one eye... All this stuff is stuff that I notice is different to someone else. I even put on this list "my insecurity about... everything."And girls, now that I read it again I realize that my insecurity is MY problem. That's my fault. Even though I know that God doesn't compare me to others I can't stop comparing myself and not loving myself for who He created me to be!

You got a gift from God, it's time to Open It.

      So what does the Bible have to say about being who you are and not comparing yourself? this morning I was reading in Romans and I came across this amazing, incredibly inspiring, and oh-so-meaningful passage:

"Just as bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ's body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other. In His grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you. If your gift is serving others, be encouraging. if it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly."

   Romans 12: 4-8

     As you read through that list of all the different talents and things that God gave His children, did any stick out to you? did you think "hey... I might have that gift..." or maybe He bluntly told your heart "Hey! that's you!" Either way, dwell on that. Dwell on the gifts and talents that our Heavenly Father has bestowed on you! Know in your heart that his word says that He gave all of us different gifts. He doesn't want us comparing ourselves and He doesn't want us to ever think that He compares us, because girls, He doesn't. 

Let's talk about You

     "Oh no not me!" you think, "please, I hate it when people are looking at me, or expect something from me. I'm not worth being stared at or listened to. Please never make me talk on a stage or pray out loud! or... talk. " But my dear sister, we are going to talk about you. we're going to take a minute and think about all the gifts and talents you have to serve Jesus with. You are worth SO MUCH MORE than you will give God credit for! You are beautiful and unique, and you are a princess. You can do things no one else can do because you have the King of Kings as your Father. 

      So girls, I challenge you today, to love yourself for who God made you to be. With all your little imperfections, and all your gifts. It's time to open up all your presents from God and use them! sooo. Go get a notebook. No really. Now. Go get a piece of paper and we're going to make a list of all your gifts that you can use for Jesus. :) 

     If you're creative, make it pretty! Embrace who you are, and you will love life so much more.

       Alright, start your list girls. What do you know Jesus put in you? Compassion? Love? Leadership? Out-going-ness? Sweetness? Sensitivity? Write it all out. He deserves some credit don't you think?

"For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."

Ephesians 2:10 

"I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. "

Psalms 139: 14-16

     Well dearest sisters in Christ. I love all of you for who God made you to be, and God loves you for that and nothing else. You can do amazing things! I care about all of you and I'm praying for you as I hope you are for me. :) Have a great week ladies!

"I'm not beautiful like you, I'm beautiful like Me."

 

Putting Your Trust in Him.

     Have you ever heard the song "Lean On Me?" yeah... that's an old one fine, but how about "Angel By Your Side?" Do any of you girls have a best friend that you think of when you hear these songs? One that had cried and laughed with you? One you joke you dumb jokes with? One you turn to whenever you're upset or have just had a fight with your mom or dad? I know some of you are saying "No" right now. I very sad, very longing, very "there's none of those in the world... or at least none left. " kind of No. well I've got some good news for you miss. ;) You DO have a best friend like that!! "who??!" you ask, "I've certainly never seen her. :P " well. Maybe you've never seen Him, but you talk to Him everyday. (My sister married a guy she met over the internet.. and no, it wasn't even a dating service web-sight thing, and those two are the two most in-love people I've ever seen in my entire life! She had never seen him (except on skype, but still) before she knew she loved him and he knew he loved her. ) that's right, you all know who I'm talking about. I'm talking about JESUS. I know it sounds a little (okay... a lot) generic, but girls, He love you SO MUCH! He wants a relationship with you more than any best friend could and will EVER want one. I mean, let's face it, we all get sick of each other at some point in life, or annoyed with each other or mad at each other. God will never get sick of you.
       Hey you, yes you, with the obnoxious laugh that laughs so loud she shakes her desk at things other people never laugh at. He's NEVER annoyed with you! He love hearing that amazing and excited sense of humor!
     Hey you who spills every drink of everything and everyone, (even if it's a really attractive guy... trust me, I've been there...) He never gets frustrated with you! If you spilled drink after drink on him, He'd just smile at your blushing face and tell you it was fine, that He needed a cool off anyway. ;)
     Hey you with distracted mind, or maybe the ears that never catch everything everyone's saying and has to ask "sorry what?" over and over and over again until they get mad and you just say "oh!" even though you still have NO CLUE what they're talking about. He ALWAYS hears you! see, Jesus listens to us SO SO intimately, so very closely, that he even can hear what you're thinking. ;) (I'd say that's honestly the coolest best friend and best best friend anyone could have. like, ever!)
    I was reminded of this tonight as I sat here at my table, bawling about the fact that I had gone places this weekend and done things without giving much regard to my school, and now I had a whole pile of papers to write, biology to do, (<< lots and LOTS of that...) and I hadn't really remembered my mom's rule about no youth group on Wednesday if I didn't have my homework done by Friday. She was frustrated with me, and she told my dad, who now wants to see me when it's done... I have plans for the next 4 weekends of my life! I can't CAN'T get grounded!! please!! and I had a really really long weekend this weekend, I'd been ready to cry all day cuz I was sick anyway with a cold and I lost my voice yesterday and not to mention I had already had one (okay fine... 2) emotional break-downs today about friend drama and family drama. (Stupid Life. )
     So as I'm sitting here bawling and sniffling and blowing my red stuffy/runny (whatever it feels like doing at the moment) nose, I realized two things. First, I realized that I was getting my Literature homework all wet, and I needed to stop cuz I could read it or think about it now anyways, and I realized that I had someone who says to turn to him in all times. The good and the bad.

so... Instead of writing a paper, I started typing to my savior. here, I'll share my prayer with you. :)

     "Dear Jesus.

I need your help tonight. Today’s been such a long day, such a hard hard HARD day! Please dry my tears Lord. Please let my distracted and stressed brain remember that you love me and you put me here for a purpose, but right now I need to work on my school. Please wrap me in your warm loving arms and tell me that you’ll take care of me, and that school is just school, and today is just one day, and that tomorrow I will laugh and smile again. My cheeks will plump up and my eyes will sparkle as I giggle with joy about life.  Please give me the strength and the mindset to do my school, and not worry about what’s going to happen tomorrow, and not focus on later. Bless me with a calmed spirit Jesus, so I can be reminded of your stead-fast love, even on the hard days. I love you so much Jesus, I, in all things, want to please you, even though sometimes I really suck at it. Bless me with understanding tonight so I don’t have to read things over and over again, and bless me with a quick-thinking mind and a steady hand that can spell things right on the first try. (miracle I know, but who better to work a miracle than you?) Thank you so much daddy. I love you too. <3" 

     Do you wanna know a pretty cool secret? Of course you do, us girls would never miss out on a secret right? ;) I had stopped crying and started to feel so much SO MUCH calmer by "please give me the strength." I had stopped crying completely (and my nose stopped running too!  ;) ) and started to instantly feel okay again. Wow right? even though I still have a weeks worth to do of biology, and a Chapter to read in my long (LONG LONG LONG BORING!) book, I know I can do it. Even though I was up at 7 am this morning and was really tired I feel like I can do this! I feel re-energized and my confidence is built on God. Remember girls, when you ask something like "how can you have confidence when you can't see something?" Blind people do it all the time. If they didn't, they'd die very quickly, or become lost and confused. We are but lost sheep to our amazing all-mighty God.
      Are any of you horse girls? Then you know very well that a blind horse has to trust you to let you lead it. You are a blind horse to a very kind and very gentle rider. When you're scared, and you don't know if you can make it down that hill without seeing anything, remember to quiet yourself before Him and tell Him how you're feeling. He will lead you down the path with ease, and you WILL do it, even when it's hard!

      Remember what Jesus said in John. :)

 

Just remember, dear sisters of mine, dear princesses of God whom I look forward to meeting one day. God knows what He's doing, He always has, even when times are really hard. That doesn't mean YOU know what He's doing. Of course you don't. Look how small you are! all you can do it stretch your arms and remember that He won't let you fall, He loves you too much for that. ;) 

" Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge."

~ Psalm 62:8

Well, girls, here's your favorite part. ;) I DARE YOU. To take this pen and paper that I've given you in the picture here... (fine. go get your own. I just like the stationary. ;) ) and Write a letter to Him right now. He loves you more than any friend you could ever ever hope to make! He deserves to be written to! Go ahead, tell Him ONE THING you're going to trust Him with today, then seal the letter and date it and put it in your hope chest (I have a hope bin. whatever works...) In 3 months, I want you to go back and open that letter, read it, and pray about it all over again. or write a new one. See if God replied to the mail box in your heart. It might take Him a little longer than a couple months, but he will ALWAYS reply, remember, He know what he's doing, not us. ;)    

                                            

And on that note I must bid all you lovey ladies ague! I'm going to go make some coffee and get started! We'll see how my meeting with my dad goes, but I think it won't be as bad as my dramatic mind made it seem. He's a pretty cool guy once you get to know Him. ;) I love you all and hope and pray that you got something out of this! Remember, I'm your sister, older or younger, and I'm here for you always! If you ever just need to vent, or need some prayer, E-mail me! (amiraforgod@gmail.com) 

God Bless You're beautiful faces ladies! ;) haha goodnight! 

~Ella Amira

Building Bridges (getting a mother/daughter relationship back)

   

     This past week I had a horrid science project. No doubt some of you have had the same one... Building a bridge, out of toothpicks. Ugh! It got so frustrating and my goodness I've never hated toothpicks so much in my whole life! The glue wouldn't stay right and the whole thing kept falling apart and it just plain was HARD. 
     My dad came in the room once and smiled and said "oh I see someone's building bridges!" ...That gave me an idea for my next blog post. As I do more of these I get more and more confident in what I'm trying to say, but somehow I still never seem to be able to say it right. haha :) Basically, what came to mind was this. Building Bridges is tough work, whether in a family or in a science project. It gets frustrating, and things fall apart or don't work like you wanted them to. It's up to you to decide if what's on the other side of that bridge is worth all the fuss. Frankly, I thought that my science project was NOT, because in the end they were going to see how much weight it held, thus, braking it anyways, but that's besides the point. My point is, Family is always worth it. Think about who in your family you need to build a bridge to... For a lot of teenage girls, I've noticed that it's their mom. So many of us have such a hard time with our mothers, always feeling like our moms just don't understand us, or they don't even try to understand us, which is even worse. When ever I have conflicting problems with my mom, I always think of Merida in the movie Brave. I know some of you probably don't really approve of this movie, I have several friends that aren't so okay with it... But I think part of the reason it was still a popular movie, despite the fact that Disney has DEFINITELY done better, is because they captured what most girls Merida's age truly feel about their mom. They love her, because, well, she's their mom! They really DO love her! But, they want her to change.
     The thing about moms is, they always catch us in those moments when we do something a little.... naughty. 

And the this happens:

 And then this: (because it always seems like there's no pleasing her, and you always get sent to your room and you just seem to always do something wrong!)

     This is totally normal! ALL of us have been here before and it's a normal part of life! Usually, at least the first few times, we forgive and forget. But if it happens like, 20 more times in the next 3 months, there's gonna be some tension. We're humans, we automaticly re-act with sin, it's a part of us we can't escape, but the really scary thing, isn't that you re-act with sin, it's when you get to the point where you don't care. It's when this happens:

     Attitude alert! You think that's it! she thinks that's it! and THAT'S REALLY IT. When, even just one time, your emtions get to be too much to handle, and you burst. You say something your mother should've never heard come out of your mouth, especially toward HER. But often what we don't remember is that she has emotions too! For just one second, take yourself out of Merrida's place that, even absent-mindedly, you probably put yourself in.      What you saw before, and what you see on your own Mother, is the face that Elinor wears in this picture. It looks so angry, but is it really? 
     What we see is a face that says that we're impossible, that says it won't try to understand us and just wants us to listen! No matter HOW we feel about it. But when you take your mind and stick it in Elinor's head instead, your faced with a face that you've been wearing, but never actually saw, so you didn't realize what it was doing to your mom. Look at Merida's face. Defiant, Lashing, saying firmly that she will never listen. That she will never respect, and even that she would love to do anything to make her mom mad right now...           
     What Elinor sees, what you should see, is a face that would BRAKE.HER.HEART. and did. What she sees is her baby girl, the one she once held so close, the one who once told her that she would love her forever, her own little baby girl, with a face that says she hates her. Elinor's face might be angry at the moment, but any human would be! What's deep down in her eyes, behind the anger and behind all the frustrated-ness, is true, deep fear! After all, that's her baby girl! She love her! She doesn't understand how this all started, but the thing is, it did. She feels like there's nothing she can do about it now, like Merida has to make the first move if they're gonna fix this. 
     Chances are girls, your mom wants this too. You and your mom may be completely different than you, but whether you're too different or too the same or whatever your reasons are, you can still get along! It's only hard because, over the harsh words and the tears shed between you two, a rushing, dangerous river was formed. Gushing between you two, you don't know how to get back to your mom! It seems hopeless, we cry and we worry about it, and believe it or not, your mom does that same thing! She loves you, but you've both changed. 
     One thing that's truly hard for me is that I miss these days. -oh-so-much! : 

     There's been so many times that I wanted my mommy to hold me and hug me, to tell me life would be alright, to tell me she loved me. I'm sure You've felt like this before. Life is hard, especially for us hormonal girls! But now we're too big for mom to hold. She knows that. She doesn't wanna make us feel like a baby, no doubt she's confused with what we want just about as much as we are! The thing is, we're not fare to her! think about it! All the time this is the thing she gets! :

And often, that is how we feel about it. We don't know what we want either... Face it girls, whether we like it or not, we're a mess, and we need our moms! They've been through this you know! They haven't been old all their lives! They probably wanted their freedom at some point too, and they probably also wanted their mom to somehow read their minds. Like Laura in The Dick Van Dyke show! haha, yes she's hilarious when she does this but I don't think we realize just how much we do this to our own loved ones.

Rob: *thinks hard trying to figure out what he did* Honey.. would you just tell me what I did at least? So I can fix it!?
Laura: *indigently as if he should know EXACTLY what's wrong* Well! If you don't know I'm certainly not going to tell you!! *starts bawling*
     Ohh boy do we know this feeling or what? But girls, we can't act like this. I know sometimes it would be a lot easier if everyone could just read our thoughts, but they can't. That's far from their fault! The best thing you can do for your mom is to turn the tables and think about how every look, every action you do, every word you say, is affecting her. You love you don't you? Would you like a wonderful relationship to blossom between you two? "Of course!" you say, "It's not like I'm not trying!!" but think deeply, are you REALLY trying the hardest you know how?? This is a question for you to answer, you can lie to yourself of you want, but if you and God already know the truth, what's the difference? The difference is whether or not you really start trying. 
     Girls, You love your mom, but when was the last time you told her that? Start building your bridge. Get your toothpicks together. haha :D Basically, I'm telling you to try, with all of your heart. God gave you to your mother for a reason, He makes no mistakes. Your mom is not a mistake and neither are you! The fact that you two live in the same house, and the fact that she is your mother, wasn't a mistake either. Humans make the mistakes, but the good news is, God wants to help you fix them! pray about yours and your mom's situation, even if it's not terrible, I'm sure it could be better, mine definitely could be! 
     Remember that building bridges, especially across a gushing river of hardened hearts and pain and tears, isn't easy! And no bridge is built in a day either! But if you work one step at a time, and use Jesus' blueprint for it (get the directions daily girls! there's no way you'll be able to do this on your own!) it will happen! Here's a list that for sure doesn't cover everything about getting things back on track with your mom, but definable won't hurt! 

1. Respect her (don't act like your in charge of yourself, you're not. When your mother says something, even if you disagree with it, you need to talk to he with respect. if nothing else, you're respecting the position God put her in.)
2. Smile at Her (this can go a long way! Trust me!)
3.  Share Things With Her (are you excited to see a friend tomorrow? Proud of a grade? Tell her about it! Something tells me that, if you two haven't talked in awhile, you could use some conversation starters next time your in a room together. Telling her about something your happy about gives her a feeling that you care about what she thinks, and that you believe that she does care, even if it doesn't always seem like it. )
4. Say "thank you" (It means a lot to a hard working mom to know that you realize how much this gas money is worth, or how much work it is to plan a menu and run a house. Knowing you appreciate it means a lot)
5. Tell Her You Like Her (this is a totally different level than "I love you"s . Mom's generally know you love them, being liked is different. You know that feeling you get when someone likes something you put on FaceBook? Yeah, to a mom, a teenager telling her that she likes her means something ;) )
6. Help Her (She has a lot on her plate! even offering to help lets her know that you don't want to be a lazy clump-nugget sitting in your room all day while she does all the work. Getting up and helping without being asked gives bonus points. :D) 
7. Let Her in On Some Secrets (I highly doubt your mom's a blabber mouth like Hellga Kakleberry at school. She'll probably keep most things a secret, but if she is that kind of girl, you can tell her things that aren't gonna matter as much! Even telling her about the little boy who kissed you when you were 5 years old can brake down some bricks in that wall. Just mention it casually once if something reminds you of it, It will bring a few laughs and give her a sense that you don't hid things from her (even if you really have a few secrets that are only for you and your best friend. ;) )
8. Ask Her to Pray For You (this shows her that you trust her with some of your problems, and that you believe she will pray for you, and that you love her enough to share hard things with her. Asking her for prayer could make her day, just try it!)
9.  Pray For Her (that's right. She's a girl too you know. We all need each other! I pray for my mom a lot because she works SO hard. Your mom needs it as much as anyone, even if she doesn't know you're praying for her, your love will grow for her if you pray for her, genuinely, all the time.)
10. Hug Her (Your mom may not be a huggy person, That's fine, a light one will work, don't smother her (especially if she doesn't really like hugs like my mom) But when she comes home from a long day in town, or even in the morning before you go off to school, just give her a quick hug to let her know "hey mom, I care." )
11. Encourage Her (this goes along with pretty much all my other things, things are hard for her too, an encouraging word will go so far!)

   12. Don't Be Scared (the worst thing you can do in starting a process of forgivness and forgetfulness between you two, is being too scared. Being too scared makes water rush harder and supplies fall off the bridge. It's like the "don't look down!" saying. If you look down, you'll freak out and fall, if you stare straight ahead, holding on to Jesus' hand all the way through, you will make it to the other side! Don't be too scared to open up, to say whatever Jesus is telling you, Don't be so scared to try, that you never even get a chance for something that could've been beautiful.)
      Well! These just keep getting longer and longer don't they? I have this problem in real life, talking too much. Awhile ago you were probably like "yeah I get the point Ella!" I'm sorry, I'm not perfect. :/ 
     So ladies, I challenge you this week (I'll do this with you, cuz then you know at least someone's doing it too! ) to start building a bridge. Go give your mom a smile! It may have been a long time since she's seen one from you!  (This is the worst part- ready?) OPEN YOUR HEART. Don't POUR everything out to her if you're uncomfortable, but open your heart to whatever Jesus wants you to say to her. Listen to how he wants your relationship to get back on track. I mean it. Pray hard about it, tell him this is something you really wanna do, something you really wanna fix, tell him you need his help, and ask him how to do it. Now, go lay down on your bed. heart facing the ceiling, and listen. Deeply deeply listen to what He says, to what you can feel him telling your heart. Then do it. A huge part of knowing what God is saying to your prayers is listening for His answer! If you pray then jump up and get back to your day, how do you expect Him to tell you what to do?? So I challenge you to try this list out, see what happens, to try building a bridge. If you already have a pretty good relationship with your mom, that doesn't mean it can't be improved! Go make your bridge a little stronger! Is there something on this list you haven't done yet? Or haven't done in quite awhile? 
     One more thing, remember that bridges aren't easy to make! Don't get discouraged after one day and give up! Jesus will help you through this! Just keep going back to him and asking him again and again for more strength, He will give it to you. Don't give up on your mom, you love her too much for that. 
      Remember girls, Life doesn't have to be perfect, to be Beautiful... ~Ella Amira

An Emontional Train Wreck

     Hey girls! I'm SO SORRY that I haven't posted in so long!! I've been super busy, but I don't think that's a good enough excuse. I'm going to try REALLY hard to find time for 1 blog post a week. ok? okay good. 

     So, what is the difference between and emotional wreck, and an emotional train wreck? well, believe it or not, there's a BIG difference. An emotional wreck happens when You've been overcome with emotions and stupid hormones, and it's too much to handle, and you just brake down cuz "Nothings going right, and your friends don't like you, and your school won't stay caught up, and your family's a mess, and you'll NEVER find a guy cuz no guy will ever ever like you, and, your gold fish died last night! and on TOP OF ALL THAT- you stubbed your toe! *sobs hysterically* "ohh could life get ANY WORSE!?!??!".

And that's an emotional wreck ladies. No doubt you've all been here. Not everyone likes to admit it, because face it! An emotional wreck is not a good look for a girl! But yes, I've defiantly been there. Now Here's the difference, an Emotional train wreck is when Your emotions are flying full speed ahead. With no intention of stopping you plunge on, faster and faster. It could be a new friendship you found! And you're so so excited that you just fling yourself full-on into it! It could be your new boyfriend that you suddenly are falling head over heels for, you think ":D :D he bought me roses! Could there be anything more romantic in ALL THE WORLD?!? no! I love him I love him I love him!! and I'm going to marry him and that's.that!"(okay.. maybe not THAT dramatically, but you get the message!) I like to think of an emotional train wreck as a "THINGS ARE GOING PERFECT" thought when honestly you're moving way.to.fast. Then BAM! *smash-crash-bag!* You smash head on into reality, someone elses' emotions collide with yours, or something is in the track of what you thought was perfection. (but generally, from what I know, it's someone elses' emotions that were going full speed ahead too.) suddenly, that amazing thing you thought you had is GONE, it ended up (too late for you to realize) not the thing you thought it was! This (in my opinion always) is the WORST kind of emotional wreck imaginable...When your heart brakes into a million pieces.. and you realize that what you thought was your life, what you thought was who you were supposed to be forever and ever, is gone. 

You, the train going at 200 miles an hour, smashes into reality and explodes. It's never pretty. Surly, if you've ever been here, you're nodding your head and saying "not it's not! I know exactly what you mean!"
     Have you ever seen a girl in a movie (hopefully this hasn't actually happened to you, but if it has then you can relate even better!) who's been cheated on. She's an emotional train wreck isn't she? she sobs, she cries, she feels unwanted and un-loved. No matter what she feels like her world has fallen apart, the man she loved is gone, he rejected her. You're sitting there saying "JERK!!! OH how could he do that to her!?! " She is the perfect example of an emotional train wreck. It hurts doesn't it?

     All this talk about emotional train wrecks is pretty depressing isn't it? Well, I still have some advice for today! haha :) just wait! it's coming! :)
      So, how do we stay away from these emotional train wrecks? Take it SLOWLY. I know it sounds impossible girls! Really sometimes I feel like it really is! but PLEASE remember to SLOW.DOWN! Take your friendships and relationship one step at a time! Often friendships go bad because the girls who just met each other decided they were best friends from the START, They head toward the friendship FULL SPEED AHEAD and tell each other everything and have a million sleepovers and call each other everyday! They think they've found something amazing and they're just embarrassing it, but the truth is that they're heading right for an emotional train wreck. Both of them are going at 200 mile an hour speeds headed right toward each other. Think about this, have you ever had a really enthusiastic friend be excited to see you and come running at you with a HUGE hug and nearly knock you over dead cuz they accidentally knocked all the wind out of you??

 I have! It kinda hurts and you try to laugh through it as your also trying to breath again! lol! That the exact same enthusiasm that friends take as they meet each other, decide each other is PERFECT , and run at each other full speed! They're going to collide and fall over and get all the wind knocked out of them. ouch.. Friendships that start like this almost always end with one of them being extremely clingy and "needing!" the other when the other realizes that, well, maybe they weren't supposed to be friends actually.. If you take your friendships slowly and give them time to grow in Jesus, then they will have a very strong foundation! and even if you two have to move apart, or are too busy for each other sometime in the future, you'll have been friends that can stay friends for years, and the next time you see each other, you can talk like you've never been apart! that is something beautiful! Imagine trying to talk to someone you haven't seen in years, and you only actually knew her for like, 2 months before you were separated. that would be awkward! Especially if you had totally flung yourself at her in those 2 months, and now.. well, now you just don't even know what to say or what she'll expect. 
     I've experienced both. and TRUST ME when I tell you that the friend I have right now, whom I took a few years to get to know, will ALWAYS be more precious to me than the one whom I now never even talk to. I know that I can run to her and tell her anything and she'll be just as excited to see me as I am her! 

     but my other friend.. two years ago, I was flinging myself into her arms, desperately trying to cling to what I thought I was loosing, and all the mean time knocking the wind out of her, and becoming quite an emotional train wreck! If you look at my diary from then, it was NOT pretty. That had to be one of the most depressing, and tear filled years of my whole life, and all because I was moving too fast.
     What I've been saying here goes for boys too! don't DON'T move too fast! give them a mystery that they will only solve after you are married. I'm not even talking about *cough* sex here. I'm talking about YOU, you're whole entire self! Don't let them know all of you! your secrets, your hopes you dreams, your struggles. Everything that you want him to know because you think you're in love, now imagine if he ever did cheat on you, or if he ever did brake up with you and you happen to marry someone completely different! Would you really want that guy out there to know everything about you? NO MA'AM. 
     Alright ladies, wow these are getting long! :) I challenge you today... to check all your friendships and relationships, make extra sure that you're taking things slowly, and that you aren't headed straight into an emotional train wreck. And IF you are, SLOW.DOWN. 
     If by any chance you are right in the middle of an emotional train wreck right now, I'm here for you! I totally 100% know what that's like, and you can email me at amiraforgod@gmail.com :) I'm always here to listen! otherwise, talk to God about it! He helped me through mine! Honestly if you just cry to him he helps so much!! 
      I hope you all have a wonderful week! God Bless you all! :) 
~ Ella Amira

Jealous with my Best Friend? Nope!..mostly! (right? ..right.)

     "Best Friends are hard aren't they? So hard.. right now I'm going through some serious things with mine.. We used to be really close, then I don't really know what happened. We're trying to fix things up now but we live about 40 minuets away from each other and Facebook messages just aren't working.. *sigh* I feel like God is trying to grow us and we aren't responding very well. Life can be so so hard sometimes..."

     I wrote that a few weeks ago then decided that I didn't even know what to say about anything in that situation, I was just confused. I still am, but I think it's starting to clear up.. I realize that God gives friends, and He takes away friends. Who are we to take away? That's God's job. If He has a new friend for you, wonderful! but that doesn't mean you get to decide who gets cut out of the deal, that part is up to Him. This also goes for those of us who are heart broken right now, desperately clinging onto those friends who seem like they're leaving us. It can be so SO hard to let them go! You think "I KNOW we are best friends! I want her she's mine! " and more selfish thoughts about it.. After this stage we start to feel guilty because we know that we aren't "in charge" of our friend's life, but those ugly feelings of jealousy and green-ness tend to creep up on us again. "ugh!: you think "why is life such a mess?! I don't understand!" I've said and felt these feelings so many times myself that I can't even count! 

     

    Maybe it a guy who's coming between you two. Maybe all of a sudden your friend has gotten a fella, and now her life revolves around him instead of you.. She's twitter-paitted and you're working on holding back "punch-a-wall" feelings. You probably understand, "after all," you tell yourself "this is someone who she could end up spending the rest of her life with- I need to be considerate and even happy for her that she's so into spending time with him and thinking about him.." but you know that you're still upset! You're still mad about the fact that you're REALLY loosing her-TO A GUY. It's a tough thing to face!
     

     Friends have to be one of the most complicated topics of all of a teenage girl's life! And I mean GOOD friends. I never ever in a million billion trillion (idk if that's even a real number) years thought that I could have too many incredible friends, but I think I might! lol!
      I love my girls, my friends whom I can talk to about anything and everything. They are more precious than anything in the world to me, but they get jealous of each other.. I hate that! I want to just love them all, and I want them to be okay with that! I want to just have permission to tell them all everything or anything I want to, not to have things "only for this person." It just creates so much drama. 
     I have one who doesn't get jealous, well, she never showed it anyway. haha :) (maybe she has been but just worked through it because she knew it was silly.) All I can say is that she's amazing!!! Seriously, I could NOT. I get so jealous over nothing, it's ridiculous. 
     I have come to a wonderful realization.. that that intense jealousy just means that they sincerely love me. That's an amazing thought, isn't it? But girls, we're getting it all wrong...      How do you show your best friend that she means the world to you? By NOT getting intensely jealous. Does this sound close to impossible? I sure thought so! But please girls, TRY it! talk to each other, communicate, but don't yell. try not getting upset. Don't pry into things and ask questions like "so... how long did you two skype?" ( because you know that it was over 2 hours and YOU haven't skyped with her for 4 days!) Show some trust! Show her love by not showing her you want everything (meaning every once and drop of love and time)  she's got! 

     Just like we want a guy to respect our space, our morals, and our time with our family and friends, we want our friends to respect our other time with other friends! Seriously, who wants just one friend? 
     When you have so many girls who confide in you, so many that you love so much, you (of course) want to tell them things too! you want quality time / bonding time with them as well. Your friend wants the same thing. Don't let your friendship be hurt because you are too scared to let it grow! Let your special friend go so she can grow and so you can grow. So that you two will have someone there when the other can't be there- it can become a beautiful work of God's art of you let him mold your friendships into something even better and more amazingly exquisite than they already were! Just give HIM the reigns. tell him "Lord, I give this to you, please help me to let you grow us.. please help me to let her go, and let her grow."          And remember girls, They aren't gonna leave you! 

Just because they made a new friend doesn't mean that you aren't there anymore, or that you aren't just as loved as you always were. Think about it this way- would you leave them? no! If they do leave you then they certainly aren't a real friend at all! If you believe she loves you and cares about you, let her see that you trust her! 

 
     So today, I challenge my lovely ladies of God to give a good hug to that one friend who's bugging them right now, send her a super amazing facebook message or E-mail her, or tell her that you love her and would trust her with your life. Do something without mentioning that other somebody's name. Basically, show her that you trust her in some way,shape, or form! You know your friends and you know the perfect way to do that, I'm just challenging you to do it, cuz it IS a challenge. haha believe me I know!

~you don't have to be sitting my her to know that she'll never leave you~

I care about each and everyone of you! <3 God bless you and always remember that I'm your sister and I'm here for you! (amiraforgod@yahoo.com or amiraforgod@gmail.com)

      ~ Ella Amira ;)